Start saying no, and see who stays.
What am I talking about, you ask? When you say no, some people will be understanding and others will get mad and leave. Those who leave probably should not have been around in the first place.
Clearly, I am not talking about when you say “no” to constructive criticism or saying no to being a decent human being. I am talking about boundaries. Saying no can be a superpower. Don’t laugh, I mean it!
I had a lot of trouble saying no, and would feel very guilty about it. If a family member would ask me for a free reading, I would jump to do it. At first, I didn’t mind. I love reading for other people and it would make me happy. But as time went on, I started saying no more often. I started saying that if they want a reading they need to start paying, and would even offer a discount. Sometimes they would say they will get one later, or sometimes they will get mad and say “Why not? We are family! Family first, right?”
Finding a way to guilt me into changing my answer use to work all the time, but then I thought to myself “wait, if they are saying I need to provide them free services because I am family and I should care about them, why is it that they can’t pay for my services and support me because I am family and they should care about me?” This is when that little switch flipped in my brain.
Anyone who respects me will not try and change my no. If anybody gets angry with me for standing my ground, for enforcing boundaries, then why would I continue to entertain that energy?
How do you enforce your boundaries? What is something you said no to that you are proud of?
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